26,373 Hours, 1,099 Days, 36.06 Months, or 3 Years Sober
.
Regardless of how the time adds up it's a MIRACLE all the same. The 3 year mark from my last drink it a profound reminder of how fortunately I am to be alive and flourishing because of the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. It took 15 continuous years of one (really hundereds) alcoholic reaching out to me to finally get it: The Miracle of Sobriety.
Contentment was a state of mind I thought I wanted nothing to do with. In fact if I was not having a blast I thought I was loosing out on "living" life. How wrong I was!! When I heard or read "Don't leave Until the Miracle Happens" I thought it mean not obsessing or craving my next drink. Well, I was way off the mark. Contentment has been a huge realization that mimics the preverbal "pink cloud" newcomers talk about in meetings, but is much more satisfying and sustainable. I never realized what contentment was or even felt like until about 18 months ago and it has yet to dissipate. I also never realized there was so much joy in contentment. I find myself being filled with serenity and peace of mind in large chunks of time and when I get a little off kilter I find myself pulling myself back into step with little or no effort at all. I am amazed by how happy I find myself to be today.
A lot has occurred in the past year. I survived statistics which was the toughest course in my college career to date. I spent countless hours tutoring, in my professors office and on my kitchen table at all hours of the day and night. I would even wake up 3 hours early on test days to review. Well the time spent paid off with a well earned "A". I really believe I earned a "B", but hard work pays off with extra credit to put me over the hump.
I also graduated from college with my Bachelors in Applied Arts and Science (BASS) in Psychology. A huge feat not only for the challenges I had to overcome in my life, but because I am the first in my family tree to earn a college degree. I was also the first to earn a high school diploma, which I am proud to say several of my siblings also accomplished. It was a wonderful experience that was observed by my nieces and nephew. I hope this will allow them to believe they can too do the same and change the course of our families to follow. The best part was watching my mother in the stands continuously smile throughout the whole event. To see a 60+ year old woman jump un and down all the while screaming the rafters down was a sight to behold and one I will cherish forever.
Another experience that was not so pleasant was hearing the words "The fourth biopsy is cancerous." Those words were unexpected and soul rattling since I have hear them four previous times (yes, you read that right - four). When I heard those words my mind and breath just stopped. Then after a few seconds the word "what?" came out of my mouth because I just needed to hear him say those words one more time. I guess it was a gasp of hope that I misheard, but I knew I heard him right. Then fear set in and I could feel my resolve ground me before I decided to go numb and pretend everything was ok.
This is an unfilinsed blog from last year. As of today I have 35, 807 Hours, 1,492 Days, 48.96 Months and 4.08 Years sober.
Regardless of how the time adds up it's a MIRACLE all the same. The 3 year mark from my last drink it a profound reminder of how fortunately I am to be alive and flourishing because of the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. It took 15 continuous years of one (really hundereds) alcoholic reaching out to me to finally get it: The Miracle of Sobriety.
Contentment was a state of mind I thought I wanted nothing to do with. In fact if I was not having a blast I thought I was loosing out on "living" life. How wrong I was!! When I heard or read "Don't leave Until the Miracle Happens" I thought it mean not obsessing or craving my next drink. Well, I was way off the mark. Contentment has been a huge realization that mimics the preverbal "pink cloud" newcomers talk about in meetings, but is much more satisfying and sustainable. I never realized what contentment was or even felt like until about 18 months ago and it has yet to dissipate. I also never realized there was so much joy in contentment. I find myself being filled with serenity and peace of mind in large chunks of time and when I get a little off kilter I find myself pulling myself back into step with little or no effort at all. I am amazed by how happy I find myself to be today.
A lot has occurred in the past year. I survived statistics which was the toughest course in my college career to date. I spent countless hours tutoring, in my professors office and on my kitchen table at all hours of the day and night. I would even wake up 3 hours early on test days to review. Well the time spent paid off with a well earned "A". I really believe I earned a "B", but hard work pays off with extra credit to put me over the hump.
I also graduated from college with my Bachelors in Applied Arts and Science (BASS) in Psychology. A huge feat not only for the challenges I had to overcome in my life, but because I am the first in my family tree to earn a college degree. I was also the first to earn a high school diploma, which I am proud to say several of my siblings also accomplished. It was a wonderful experience that was observed by my nieces and nephew. I hope this will allow them to believe they can too do the same and change the course of our families to follow. The best part was watching my mother in the stands continuously smile throughout the whole event. To see a 60+ year old woman jump un and down all the while screaming the rafters down was a sight to behold and one I will cherish forever.
Another experience that was not so pleasant was hearing the words "The fourth biopsy is cancerous." Those words were unexpected and soul rattling since I have hear them four previous times (yes, you read that right - four). When I heard those words my mind and breath just stopped. Then after a few seconds the word "what?" came out of my mouth because I just needed to hear him say those words one more time. I guess it was a gasp of hope that I misheard, but I knew I heard him right. Then fear set in and I could feel my resolve ground me before I decided to go numb and pretend everything was ok.
This is an unfilinsed blog from last year. As of today I have 35, 807 Hours, 1,492 Days, 48.96 Months and 4.08 Years sober.
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