The Prodigal Relapser: Grasping for the Miracle of Sobriety

. My last depressive phase really took a lot out of me and it affected my motivation. I really have not been motivated to write or do much of anything else in several weeks. On the other hand one of the greatest gifts that sobriety makes possible is it allows me to continue moving forward regardless of how I feel. So, when I booked my first workshop as a presenter I put myself on the line on so many fronts. I have been wanting to do a professional workshop for several years now and it was a big deal. The last time I tried I was not sober and the pressure got to me so bad that I went on a major binge that cost me the greatest job I ever had and caused a lot of people to deal with the consequences of believing in me. I hurt many people because of my drinking within my profession. That was back in January of 2009. I am a sign language interpreter and I am one of the 5% of Americans who love their job. I am also a recovering alcoholic who finally got it! Early on in my career I realized

. I needed to get a new sponsor becasue my previous sponsor had to focus on her career and she just did not have the time necessary to invest in our relationship as she would have liked. So, I asked someone who I thought would work great with me. I have always found the process of getting to know a sponsor to be exciting and fun, but it gets very real once the work begins. This is my first assignment from him: - Read the Forwards to the Big Book and the Doctor's Opinion chapter - Define allergy - Define obsession - 10 minute writing assignment: What brought you to AA. Keep writing for 10 minutes straight, even if veers off topic. Like meditation, just gently bring it back. What first brought me in was the VA Hospital. I had a nervous breakdown from drugs and alcohol that landed me in the emergency room to  psyc ward to the alcohol ward to the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) then finally to my first treatment center in May of 1995.  The second time I came into AA I we

 . Depression sucks. I'm in it and fortunately do not want to drink or use. I don't want to write, get up, bathe... So, this is it. Impermanence is my saving grace meaning This to Shall Pass.