Heartsick
. I don't really know if I have the right to complain after the life I have lived compared to the life I have now. I mean things are really good over all, but Steve is gone. He just can't seem to stay sober and I miss him dearly. My heart feels like the instant glass shatters into tiny little pieces. I find myself being okay with being sad in a way that was inconcievable without using or drinking, but it is a very foreign place that I find myself right now. There are moments where I just lay in bed and allow the tears to well up and trickle down the ridges of my face. Sometimes I put on Adele's "Make You Feel My Love" and allow the sadness to just fill me within. Other times I feel out of sorts because I don't feel bad or sad, but joy and contentment are somewhat under a light colored veil. What is unique about this sad separation is that we both love each other very much and so want to spend our lives together, but we can't when he is drinking. It w