I Love Myself.
.
I don't have the words to express how happy I am even though I have my struggles. Gratitude doesn't seem to fit the bill for the kind of love I feel toward people who have been so kind and supportive. Grateful doesn't seem to encompass how I feel to be alive and to be me and that I am happy with both. I sit sometimes alone and to just be and I have this feeling that starts arising from deep within. There are no words when this happens there is just awareness. As it starts to surface I start to feel a deep and profound gentleness that starts to tear me up and warm my chest. When it reaches the surface I see the world in such a different light than before. This world is so beautiful and the things that are in it are amazing and I am a part of it.
When that happens I am so in tune with everything around me in a way that makes me finally feel a part of not apart from. I start to think about all those people I hurt and my heart aches for their pain. I want to comfort them because I am so sad for them. It hurts to know that I caused it. The comfort comes in knowing that I will not do that again. I can't, I won't, so I work hard to make sure I take care of myself so others are better of for knowing me. In loving myself I have started to really love other people and that is an amazing thing. Who knew that is how it works. I guess "Love Thy Neighbor" has great merit more so that I ever imagined.
Several months ago after one of my therapy sessions I asked my therapist if I loved myself. He was taken aback and I really loved the look on his face. He was clear that I had to answer that question for myself. This past week we meet and during our session I realized that I was looking at loving myself in the wrong way. I kept thinking and I don't know why that I would feel loving myself and in fact it is more about how I take care of myself. Then it hit me, I love myself. For the first time in my life I can say "I love me." It does not feel like being in love or the love towards a mother or another person/being. It is like I love who I am flaws and all and value my life. That is the big one "I value my life" and because I do I make the decisions that take care of me. If I look at those decision and place them toward another person that would be love.
Wow! I love me.
I don't have the words to express how happy I am even though I have my struggles. Gratitude doesn't seem to fit the bill for the kind of love I feel toward people who have been so kind and supportive. Grateful doesn't seem to encompass how I feel to be alive and to be me and that I am happy with both. I sit sometimes alone and to just be and I have this feeling that starts arising from deep within. There are no words when this happens there is just awareness. As it starts to surface I start to feel a deep and profound gentleness that starts to tear me up and warm my chest. When it reaches the surface I see the world in such a different light than before. This world is so beautiful and the things that are in it are amazing and I am a part of it.
When that happens I am so in tune with everything around me in a way that makes me finally feel a part of not apart from. I start to think about all those people I hurt and my heart aches for their pain. I want to comfort them because I am so sad for them. It hurts to know that I caused it. The comfort comes in knowing that I will not do that again. I can't, I won't, so I work hard to make sure I take care of myself so others are better of for knowing me. In loving myself I have started to really love other people and that is an amazing thing. Who knew that is how it works. I guess "Love Thy Neighbor" has great merit more so that I ever imagined.
Several months ago after one of my therapy sessions I asked my therapist if I loved myself. He was taken aback and I really loved the look on his face. He was clear that I had to answer that question for myself. This past week we meet and during our session I realized that I was looking at loving myself in the wrong way. I kept thinking and I don't know why that I would feel loving myself and in fact it is more about how I take care of myself. Then it hit me, I love myself. For the first time in my life I can say "I love me." It does not feel like being in love or the love towards a mother or another person/being. It is like I love who I am flaws and all and value my life. That is the big one "I value my life" and because I do I make the decisions that take care of me. If I look at those decision and place them toward another person that would be love.
Wow! I love me.
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