I Am a SOBER Member of Alcoholics Anonymous
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I was sitting across a sponsie who is having a very difficult time right now. He is dealing with great fear, doubt and skepticism. Worse these things are perpetuating the obsession of the mind which can be so overwhelming. It's a clear sign of untreated alcoholism that can be healed.
In the middle of our discussion I mentioned that even though I have having some grief in my life right now with my break up with Steve I am still a very happy man. Then unexpectedly he leaned over and asked me with a feel and look of "please don't lie to me" really, are you really happy? It brought up a great amount of emotions that I kept in because I needed to be able to answer the question without all the emotion of the past clouding my message of hope.
I know that feeling very well. In fact I lived in in a meeting several years ago when I once again walked in a meeting after a very bad relapse. I sat there talking about how ridiculous it was that I needed a miracle to get sober but, that is what I needed because I could not stop no matter how much I tried. That it was asinine that I would have to ask a Higher Power for a miracle. Who asks for that for themselves. I remember that day of utter defeat, despair and hopelessness.
So when my sponsie asked me are you really happy. My answer was and is YES I am very happy in spite of the sadness in my life right now. Some how in the process of working the steps, going to meetings, working with a therapist outside of AA for other issues, service work, picking up chip after sobriety chip, ending up on life support for five weeks due to an overdose and all the other stuff I went through and have worked on I have found a place of utter peace and happiness. I really do love my life as simple as it may be and as little as I may have. What is funny is that I no longer focus on what I don't have as much as I pay attention to what I do have to include my sobriety.
I know that my sponsie has what it takes to get sober. I believe in him and every other person who walks into the rooms. I think I believe it more today than ever because of my sobirety. I really did believe at one time that I was never going to get sober. That I would die from this some how and that I was just going to have to accept my lot in life. I continued to go to meetings because I got relief and understanding there and I was always welcomed. I felt like I was understood regardless of how many times I had to pick up a sobriety chip. I thought I was going to be the guy in the meeting that sponsors would point out to their sponise's and use me as an example of what can happen. Fortunately that was not to be my lot in life and I am so grateful for it and will do for others what was so freely given to me.
Today I can say I am a SOBER member of Alcoholics Anonymous and I am a very happy man.
I was sitting across a sponsie who is having a very difficult time right now. He is dealing with great fear, doubt and skepticism. Worse these things are perpetuating the obsession of the mind which can be so overwhelming. It's a clear sign of untreated alcoholism that can be healed.
In the middle of our discussion I mentioned that even though I have having some grief in my life right now with my break up with Steve I am still a very happy man. Then unexpectedly he leaned over and asked me with a feel and look of "please don't lie to me" really, are you really happy? It brought up a great amount of emotions that I kept in because I needed to be able to answer the question without all the emotion of the past clouding my message of hope.
I know that feeling very well. In fact I lived in in a meeting several years ago when I once again walked in a meeting after a very bad relapse. I sat there talking about how ridiculous it was that I needed a miracle to get sober but, that is what I needed because I could not stop no matter how much I tried. That it was asinine that I would have to ask a Higher Power for a miracle. Who asks for that for themselves. I remember that day of utter defeat, despair and hopelessness.
So when my sponsie asked me are you really happy. My answer was and is YES I am very happy in spite of the sadness in my life right now. Some how in the process of working the steps, going to meetings, working with a therapist outside of AA for other issues, service work, picking up chip after sobriety chip, ending up on life support for five weeks due to an overdose and all the other stuff I went through and have worked on I have found a place of utter peace and happiness. I really do love my life as simple as it may be and as little as I may have. What is funny is that I no longer focus on what I don't have as much as I pay attention to what I do have to include my sobriety.
I know that my sponsie has what it takes to get sober. I believe in him and every other person who walks into the rooms. I think I believe it more today than ever because of my sobirety. I really did believe at one time that I was never going to get sober. That I would die from this some how and that I was just going to have to accept my lot in life. I continued to go to meetings because I got relief and understanding there and I was always welcomed. I felt like I was understood regardless of how many times I had to pick up a sobriety chip. I thought I was going to be the guy in the meeting that sponsors would point out to their sponise's and use me as an example of what can happen. Fortunately that was not to be my lot in life and I am so grateful for it and will do for others what was so freely given to me.
Today I can say I am a SOBER member of Alcoholics Anonymous and I am a very happy man.
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