Sponsor Assignment #1
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I needed to get a new sponsor becasue my previous sponsor had to focus on her career and she just did not have the time necessary to invest in our relationship as she would have liked. So, I asked someone who I thought would work great with me. I have always found the process of getting to know a sponsor to be exciting and fun, but it gets very real once the work begins. This is my first assignment from him:
- Read the Forwards to the Big Book and the Doctor's Opinion chapter
- Define allergy
- Define obsession
- 10 minute writing assignment: What brought you to AA. Keep writing for 10 minutes straight, even if veers off topic. Like meditation, just gently bring it back.
What first brought me in was the VA Hospital. I had a nervous breakdown from drugs and alcohol that landed me in the emergency room to psyc ward to the alcohol ward to the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) then finally to my first treatment center in May of 1995.
The second time I came into AA I went in on my own accord because for the first time I could see that my drinking caused me to put myself in a real bad situation that would have never happened if I had not taken that first drink. I was sexually assaulted and I could not defend myself because I was so physically impaired from alcohol.
I left due to being 13th stepped and did not show up for another 3 years. I came in because I new I was an alcoholic and needed help . That continued to be a pattern for me until June 6, 2004 when I came in because I was out of control. I had just barley held on to my job and was on summer break. I left the hospital while my kidneys were failing to go to a Spurs playoff game only to drink and find myself in the hospital the same night in agonizing pain and my brother had finally had to ask me to leave his home because of my drinking and using. I stayed sober and worked a damn good program. I went through all the steps, went to meetings most days, sponsored people, kept a journal, kept a gratitude journal, built a relationship with a Higher Power (HP), did service work, went on spiritual retreats with other AA members, meditated on a daily basis for 20 minutes, went to a variety of AA meetings, payed off all my financial amends and on and...
Then I relapsed the day after Thanksgiving of 2005. It would be the worst decision of my life because since then I have been only able to attain 9 months twice, 6 month three time, and have gotten a slew of 30, 60 and 90 day chips. I have so many silver sobriety chips that I could repave the yellow brick road if need be. What brought me back this last time was absolute fear and the deep honest desire to be done with my old way of living. I have absolutely done my best in every way except not pick up that next drink. For the first time in my life I really believe I will die if I drink because it really did happen in July of 2010. I found myself on life support for 5 weeks and during the first week I had to be revived because my heart stopped twice. I died and I don't want to die that way. I don't want my alcoholic death to be a reason for other people to stay sober. I want my life sober to be an inspiration for others to work the program of AA to stay sober and live their best life.
I want to live and be okay with what life offers me today regardless if I like it or not. I want to appreciate it for what it is and nothing more. I want those who I put through so much suffering to find peace in my sobriety and serenity in being able to live their lives without worrying about mine. I came back to give myself the miracle of sobriety.
So, there is my free lance writing assignment. I am not sure what it looks like because I will not read it until I have to with my sponsor later this evening. I'm not going to because I am sure I will want to edit it and make it sound so much better than it has to be.
The definitions for me are:
Obsession- Repetitive thought that takes you away from the present moment.
Allergy- A consequential physical manifestation du to the ingestion of a y food or chemical.
Craving- A physical, emotional and/or physical desire that feels like it must be satisfied to reach a state of contentment or so it seem.
I needed to get a new sponsor becasue my previous sponsor had to focus on her career and she just did not have the time necessary to invest in our relationship as she would have liked. So, I asked someone who I thought would work great with me. I have always found the process of getting to know a sponsor to be exciting and fun, but it gets very real once the work begins. This is my first assignment from him:
- Read the Forwards to the Big Book and the Doctor's Opinion chapter
- Define allergy
- Define obsession
- 10 minute writing assignment: What brought you to AA. Keep writing for 10 minutes straight, even if veers off topic. Like meditation, just gently bring it back.
What first brought me in was the VA Hospital. I had a nervous breakdown from drugs and alcohol that landed me in the emergency room to psyc ward to the alcohol ward to the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) then finally to my first treatment center in May of 1995.
The second time I came into AA I went in on my own accord because for the first time I could see that my drinking caused me to put myself in a real bad situation that would have never happened if I had not taken that first drink. I was sexually assaulted and I could not defend myself because I was so physically impaired from alcohol.
I left due to being 13th stepped and did not show up for another 3 years. I came in because I new I was an alcoholic and needed help . That continued to be a pattern for me until June 6, 2004 when I came in because I was out of control. I had just barley held on to my job and was on summer break. I left the hospital while my kidneys were failing to go to a Spurs playoff game only to drink and find myself in the hospital the same night in agonizing pain and my brother had finally had to ask me to leave his home because of my drinking and using. I stayed sober and worked a damn good program. I went through all the steps, went to meetings most days, sponsored people, kept a journal, kept a gratitude journal, built a relationship with a Higher Power (HP), did service work, went on spiritual retreats with other AA members, meditated on a daily basis for 20 minutes, went to a variety of AA meetings, payed off all my financial amends and on and...
Then I relapsed the day after Thanksgiving of 2005. It would be the worst decision of my life because since then I have been only able to attain 9 months twice, 6 month three time, and have gotten a slew of 30, 60 and 90 day chips. I have so many silver sobriety chips that I could repave the yellow brick road if need be. What brought me back this last time was absolute fear and the deep honest desire to be done with my old way of living. I have absolutely done my best in every way except not pick up that next drink. For the first time in my life I really believe I will die if I drink because it really did happen in July of 2010. I found myself on life support for 5 weeks and during the first week I had to be revived because my heart stopped twice. I died and I don't want to die that way. I don't want my alcoholic death to be a reason for other people to stay sober. I want my life sober to be an inspiration for others to work the program of AA to stay sober and live their best life.
I want to live and be okay with what life offers me today regardless if I like it or not. I want to appreciate it for what it is and nothing more. I want those who I put through so much suffering to find peace in my sobriety and serenity in being able to live their lives without worrying about mine. I came back to give myself the miracle of sobriety.
So, there is my free lance writing assignment. I am not sure what it looks like because I will not read it until I have to with my sponsor later this evening. I'm not going to because I am sure I will want to edit it and make it sound so much better than it has to be.
The definitions for me are:
Obsession- Repetitive thought that takes you away from the present moment.
Allergy- A consequential physical manifestation du to the ingestion of a y food or chemical.
Craving- A physical, emotional and/or physical desire that feels like it must be satisfied to reach a state of contentment or so it seem.
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